HaHaHa's!

Best joke written of the month:



After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

              Best joke image of the month:

           

Even Dogs Use Dentures





Other older jokes:

Pearly gates:

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to
death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the
shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually,
it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as
if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was
cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to
the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement,
but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but
no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic,
and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The
second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

Maybe Google would argue the point of this statement:



Heineken the date: